One of the things I’ve noticed about the weight loss surgery community is that there is a lot of information about the initial stages of the journey, encouraging words, stories of incredible first year losses.  Except for some reason, there’s a phenomenon where after the year mark the information, tips and tricks, and success stories tend to just fall off the face of the weight loss planet…This is particularly confusing to me, because this is the stage when things get difficult, this has been the point where I’ve needed guidance and inspiration most.  I kind of feel like a person wondering in the wilderness crying out “hello, anybody out there?”  I mean I have some serious questions and concerns.  What information that exists out there is daunting fore-warnings of failures potentially to come, not ways to avoid this harrowing fate.

While my two year surgerversary is still a little over 3 months away, I have reached what I like to call “the statistical danger zone”.  Over 50% of bariatric surgical patients have begun to regain at least 5% of their weight back as they approach two years post surgery.  For me, this has been a frightening figure, a glaring reminder that this surgery is not a permanent solution to a lifelong problem.  Stomachs stretch back out and motivation wains over time.  The only thing permanent is the threat that at any moment this whole operation could go bust.

For some reason, the parts people don’t talk about much are the discouraging elements of any weight loss journey like plateaus that last for months, appetites that seemingly return with a vengeance, and healthy practices that no longer seem to be enough to result in weight loss any longer.  The failures that none of us want to own.  What’s a girl to do?

Well I don’t know about anyone else, but I didn’t come this far to only come this far and I certainly have not put in almost two years worth of time and effort to turn back now.  So what is this girl going to do?  More.  As Lisa Rinna would say:

Having been plateau’d out for a solid four months, I will not accept that this is as good as I am going to get.  No, I will be better, more honest, and my actions more intentional than ever before.

Here’s an honest look at some things and excuses in the past 6 months that put me at risk for that statistical danger zone that scares me so:

• I’m busy so I will just go through this drive thru and grab something fast, I will order something grilled or healthy…whoops how did this burger and fries get here?
• Water, is good, it was used in the making of this sweet tea I’m drinking.
• Exercise…I thought you said extra fries for dipping in ranch.
• Meal prepping requires so much time and thought, I just don’t have the time or energy.
• Coffee is so good…lets have 5 cups and life is short so don’t forget the creamer!
• If my friends can do it so can I, another round sir and don’t forget the chips and queso!

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I am totally back to my old habits of binge eating and I’ve put in just enough effort to keep myself from gaining any weight back, but the bad habits are there on the horizon.  They’ve creeped back in enough to be a legitimate concern.  Like any good addict knows, the program only works if you work it, and my dedication to my healthy lifestyle has been about the same as my dedication to this blog the last few months…I just haven’t been showing up with the same zeal and dedication as when I started.

In the last few weeks, after having gotten very honest with myself I have refocused and re-centered and I am back in the game.  Here’s what changes I have implemented to keep me moving towards my goal and with 45 pounds left to go I am still very much working towards my goal.

• Fast food is not my friend, it is the slippery slope I slide down that results in craving more fast food.  No more fast food.
• Drinking water is smart, I will drink all of the smart water and pay close attention to the amount I am consuming because being dehydrated is detrimental to this process and my overall health.
• Exercise, four times a week come hell or high-water, which there has been a lot of lately.  Set consistent goals and an accountabilibuddy to stay on track.  Going two weeks strong on this initiative and I am already running further and faster than my 13 year old self struggling to complete the presidential fitness test mile would have dreamed I ever could.
• Meal prepping and planning isn’t optional.  One thing I’ve learned, there are two many healthy meal options that can be prepared in under 10 minutes to skip this or excuse it.
• Coffee may be less fun without deliciously flavored creamers,  but it is just as effective so black coffee with two pumps of sugar free Starbucks syrup is sufficient.  It may seem like a little change, but when you’re on weight-loss plateau any little push helps.
• I am not my friends.  I was not blessed with their metabolism or self-control to only have a little of something and be satisfied.  Going out and celebrating does not have to be off limits, but I must respect my limits in this regard.

This line by line approach may seem overkill, but I highly suggest you take time to assess the common habits and excuses you tell yourself that may be keeping you in an endless pattern of bad behavior.  Then go back and for each line, formulate a plan to resolve and  to improve these behaviors and logically evaluate the legitimacy of these excuses.  What you’ll likely find, is that these are in fact, inexcusable behaviors that may seem like little indulgences that are resulting in major consequences.  Don’t get me wrong, I have been fortunate that these behaviors haven’t led to weight regain and I am beyond thrilled with 142 pounds loss to date.  However, having taken a new progress photo, the difference is nothing short of magnificent, but great and goal are two different things, and I will not allow complacency to keep me from going all the way.  Being a size 14 isn’t enough.  Finally getting hit on when I go out with friends instead of being avoided like the plus-sized plague isn’t enough.  Being able to run a 15 minute mile isn’t enough.

Quite frankly, I hope there is never a point where it is enough.  I hope I continue to strive to be healthier, more fit, and more in-tune with my behavior.  If there is one thing I cannot stand is to feel suspended in air unable to progress or propel myself towards my next goal.  Initiative, improvement, and intervention are the keys to keeping a check on where I am at along this journey to keep moving forward in it.  While the idea that this will never have an endpoint can sometimes make me feel like Sisyphus, condemned to roll a boulder up hill only to have to repeat the process for eternity, that’s life.  That’s the reality of living a healthy lifestyle.  It is making healthy choices, putting in repeated effort, and monitoring and modifying behavior so that your body can operate in the way God intended it to.

Becoming who I set out to be has been a lot like what I imagine sculptors processes are in shaping a piece of art.  Since May 10th of 2017, I’ve been shaving off slabs of weight to get to this point, and now the finite work of chiseling and forming the actual statue needs to take place.  Sure, these next 45 pounds will likely require more tedious effort, precision, and patience than the previous 142, but I’m here for it.  I will not quit.  There may not be a lot of info to go off of in navigating this portion of the journey, but I’m going to be a Maverick and let my need, my need to succeed propel me into creatively assessing and re-appropriating any and all my habits, thoughts, and actions until I see the results I need to see, and I promise to use this platform more regularly to report what I find along the way.

As always, thank you all for your continued love and support and if you have any tips or tricks please do not hesitate to share them with me and others who read this, we all need to share and support one another when it comes to achieving our goals!  This is what this blog is here for and I hope you all won’t hesitate to ask me the same, because I am always here to help in any way I can! I may be far from an expert but there is something to be said for the value of experience.

xoxo,

Ashley