Losing 100 pounds does not happen overnight, and there are some critical things and people that have largely contributed to being able to accomplish this goal (something I honestly doubted I would ever do). Now that I am here, I have truly been reflecting on what helped me get to this point because it is a question I am often asked. Sure a large portion of this is because of the surgery I had, but honestly, these are some of the universal elements that I truly believe anyone can use in their journey towards better health. For the sake of time I limited myself to my top ten:
1. Embrace the fear
Sure fear can make you a little neurotic, but on the journey to becoming a new person, a little neuroticism is necessary. Fear of losing something you’ve worked so hard to create is healthy, but also learning to harness that fear positively is essential. If you let it run wild, it can become exhausting and take away the joy of your journey. Finding a balance is key, and one that I’m still working to find, but I am getting better at it little by little. Fear keeps me in check, but it can also make me a wreck, so managing that level is something that I have to consistently be cognizant of and strive to keep at a reasonable level.
2. Musical motivation
Warning intentional and unintentional puns ahead…Whether it’s a playlist to keep you company while you workout or one to help you cope with one of the weird moods that you for whatever reason often find yourself in during a weight loss journey, a good soundtrack is a must (more on my favorite jams coming soon so stay tuned…). A good soundtrack, or 20 in my case, is worth its weight in gold along the way. There are just certain songs that strike the right chord when you’re in a slump or get your feet moving a little faster on a walk, but for me, music has been my soft place to land and my escape along the way. Whether I am putting a record on or just listening to one of my trusty Spotify playlists a good song is often enough to carry me through or to just make me feel a little more human when I get in a funk, and I’ve found that it has really become a vice in a sense for me. Historically, I have been an emotional eater, having this type of surgery that coping mechanism has been lost in a sense because I can’t eat emotionally in the same way I used to because I physically can’t eat the type or the amount of food that I previously did when I would emotionally eat. With that said, it may be odd to think of that loss of coping mechanism as a negative, because in many ways it has been a huge blessing, but I had this void in my life because now all of a sudden that long trusted form of coping, unhealthy as it may have been was gone. Fortunately, music has played a huge part in filling that void, and I’ve found that putting a record on or driving around listening to certain songs have been a critical source for me to work out whatever emotions I may be feeling or actively trying not to feel. Music has largely become my new coping mechanism, and a much healthier one I must say.
3. Solid sounding boards/accountabilibuddies (aka supportive friends, family, and social media)
This is a deeply personal journey, but to think you can do it all on your own is to walk a long and lonely road that will be much more difficult than it has to be. It doesn’t matter how you find support whether its family, friends, or through supportive followers on social media, having people root for you is an invaluable element of keeping your head above water. I’m so blessed to be surrounded by people who are rooting me on in my daily life and also from afar on social media, and I can honestly say it has restored my faith not only in humanity but more than once in myself. There are people who we connect with throughout life, but for whatever reason may lose touch with except for the occasional like on social media, but reading those comments and seeing those virtual high fives is such a kind moment that just brings you the comfort that there is a network of humans who are genuinely excited and pulling for my accomplishments as I navigate this path. It is just such an incredible and encouraging gift that I’ve been and continue to be extremely grateful to have. Of course, there are your daily people who play a critical role as well, your family and close friends are going to see you go through a lot of ups and downs and God bless them, I have the best. I’ve called upon many to play multiple roles, coach, counselor, cheerleader but through each role, they have kept me accountable, redirected me to more positive thoughts, and comforted me during the times I’ve gotten off track or felt beyond frustrated. So suffice it to say get yourself some support in some form and in some way, because it is critical to push you through.
4. Goals
BIG GOALS, small goals, SCARY goals, fun goals…it doesn’t matter just get yourself some goals and get yourself a variety of them.
Here are some of mine, I will leave it to your imagination to determine what kind of goals they are:
– Be in a size 14 by May
– Lose 50 more pounds before 2019
– Run a 45 minute 5k by August
– Travel to a new city or country in the next year
– Hike 3 new trails throughout the next year
– Eat out only twice a week
– Drink more water than coffee on a daily basis
5. Multiple ways to measure progress
If you rely on the scale alone you will quickly become frustrated. There are just some weeks that even if you do everything right the number on the scale won’t budge or may even go in the wrong direction. It is during those weeks that you will need something else to remind you of how far you’ve come or that there are more ways to mark success than a number on a scale. I take measurements, progress pictures, and try to reach new fitness goals so that I can consistently remind myself of how far I’ve come and to celebrate a variety of successes along the way. The scale can be a source of torture and if you have other things to go off of it will provide you with a much-needed sense of reassurance and check of progress when the scales fail to reflect the positive changes you’re making.
6. A reality check or two…hudred thousand of them along the way
This may be unique to me, but I’m just going to throw it out there, I can often create this glass house of dreams and ideas only to have it shatter when something doesn’t go like I think it should. Prime example, I honestly have had to come to terms with the fact that losing a lot of weight, doesn’t necessarily mean you will transform into a totally new human. I mean I am honestly low-key delusional enough that even though I knew the math of how much I had to lose, I still thought that a big number would equal a big transformation, and while it has been a heck of a lot of progress and there have been significant changes, I have to admit that I struggle with the disappointment that the weight on the scale doesn’t match up with the transformation I had hoped to see in the mirror. I’m sorry, but if anyone who has ever lost 100 pounds tells you they don’t secretly want people to be amazed at their transformation they are lying. It may be vain, and if it is, then start playing the Carly Simon now, but losing that much weight will mess with your head and make you want to scream at your own reflection when the physical number and transformation do not meet your expectations. I thought I would be wearing smaller clothes, feel more like a normal sized human, and be a little more unrecognizable at this point in my weight loss. Those were truly my expectations and the reality is not meeting the expectation, and that is ok. It is hard, but it is ok, because here are some other realities of losing that much weight: I have more energy, I am running not just slowly walking, and while I haven’t dropped as many sizes as I would like I have dropped a few and I do like how I look a lot better now than I did before. I may not be the Gal Gadot/Blake Lively/Jennifer Anniston amalgam I had invented in my head at this point like I had hoped I would be, but with each shattered glass house of delusion I have a reality check that grounds me and brings me back to a more solid foundation of what I am working so hard to become, and simply put that is just a better healthier me whatever that finished product may end up looking like. Another reality check is allowing myself to celebrate each success that brings me closer to that person, so after losing 100 pounds I’m allowing myself a guilt-free fist pump and bought myself some new records, and I will continue to celebrate as I reach each new milestone.
7. Learning to rest, not to quit
I addressed this earlier, but it is easy to get really neurotic throughout this journey, and like I said to an extent that neuroticism is healthy, but occasionally overwhelming change and big looming goals become exhausting. I mean truly I just get so freaking tired of it all. I don’t want to have to worry every second of every day if I am making the right decision or if I am making enough progress, and if people are judging every move I make because I have chosen to be so open and out there about this journey. I chose this, I own that, but also sometimes I’d just like to eat a burger without the added repercussion of gut-wrenching guilt and fear. Every time I don’t lose weight when I step on the scale, every grocery store trip in which my cart is not the picture of health, and on the days that my tennis shoes do not get laced up are filled with dread and this crushing pressure that I’m letting myself and everyone else that has taken part in this journey with me down. I mean I won’t even pick up candy or ice cream for mom and dad at the grocery store because I live in fear that someone will see it and think I am buying it for myself. Sure a lot of that crushing guilt and insecurity is the self-imagined result of being someone who does have anxiety, but there is a degree of it that is very real and is confirmed by well-meaning comments or dissenting looks from my self-appointed health monitors. Carrying the weight of that kind of self and outside pressure is at times almost as tiring as the weight I once physically carried on my body, and it is something that I am trying to learn to occasionally be able to put down and allow myself the grace to shirk momentarily so that I can rest and reset. I’ve always been someone who has consistently put forth an effort to try and get my weight under control and in these previous attempts, I have let these resting periods become the quitting stage. Recognizing this a few years ago after writing an autobiographical paper for my theories in personality class was one of the biggest aha-moments in my life. It was like suddenly everything became crystal clear and I realized why I had failed to accomplish my goal of truly losing the weight and becoming an overall healthier person. For me, everything was a temporary diet or effort, a means with a clear end, but true health does not have a stopping point. It is is an ongoing process that requires continuous effort, progress, and never reaches a point of completion. Recognizing this has allowed me to think of resting points truly as what they are and to get back on track with my mind focused and my body moving towards each new goal I set for myself. These moments of clemency are necessary, but must be temporary, quitting is not an option but forgiveness in moments of failure and the ability to absolve the obsessiveness occasionally is a requirement to not go absolutely Real Housewives of Health Journey-level crazy throughout the process.
8. Helpful Tools
These are the ones that have been essential for me:
Education about nutrition and fitness, read lots of articles, books, but ultimately figure out what works for you. Everyone is different and needs a different set of guidelines for food and exercise learn about your body and how it reacts with different methods. For me, low carb-high protein and portion control with an increased emphasis on veggies and limited sugar intake work best nutritionally. Exercise, honestly I’m just trying to put one foot in front of the other at a faster pace than I did the session before.
In my case, this surgery that allows me to feel fuller after consuming less food.
Apps that allow you to document your workouts, calories and macros in the food you’re consuming, and chart your goals. (My Fitness Pal and Runtastic are my two go-to’s)
Good sneakers, because exercising is hard, but good shoes make it much more pleasant.
A scale, measuring tape, and photographs because I refer you to #5…
Support and accountability by sharing my journey publicly.
9. The Right Food
Like I said finding a nutritional balance that works for your body is something that should be determined on an individual basis. Each body has its own unique needs and finding out what those needs help you design an eating plan that will work best for you long term. I go for meals that are heavy in vitamins and nutrients from vegetables, high-protein/lean meat, and limiting the amount of sugar I consume. Ultimately, I shoot for food that is more natural than processed that I get as much nutritional bang for my buck as possible. Not being able to eat as much because of restrictions on my stomach size means I have to really make sure I am eating well-balanced meals in order for my body to get the nutrients it needs to function at a healthy level and not experience the consequences of hair loss, bad skin, and weight gain. When I don’t eat like I should, the consequences are apparent, and when I do the benefits are obvious looking better and feeling better after consistently making the right choices make it easier to continue making those right choices. Just stick with it and it truly does become a positive habit.
10. The right exercise
Exercise is just hard for me. I am not particularly coordinated or athletic, except for the fact that I love to dance, and finding an exercise habit that worked for me was not necessarily an easy task. Walking/running happens to be the best fit for my schedule. It is something that I can easily work into most of my days and I can kill two birds with one stone because my beloved Gus can come along with me and get his exercise in as well. We (and by we I mainly mean me because he is just along for the ride) love mixing it up by finding new places to walk and trying to increase our speed and decrease the time it takes to fit in the miles. I’m hoping to add kickboxing into my schedule once Dad hangs up my punching bag (hint, hint…) and I do want to work towards potentially becoming certified to teach Zumba or another form of dance fitness in the next year or two.
Losing 100 pounds is not an easy task, and honestly, there have been times when I questioned if it was something I’d ever be able to do. Now that it is here, I am honestly in a little bit of shock, and while I am trying to savor this moment, all I can think is how driven I am to keep going. There are still mountains to climb, and while I am enjoying this peak, I know there are still better views ahead. However, the list of things above have truly been and continue to be paramount in the production and promotion of this new person I’m becoming, and I hope that at least one of these things or maybe even a few of these things help one of you in your own journey. In my opinion, lessons learned are lessons that should be shared for the benefit of others so that someone else may navigate difficult terrain with a little less difficult because someone else has helped map the way. Everyone’s path towards health is a deeply personal path filled with bumps and bristles in the road many of which may be unique to that person, but if there is a chance some of our struggles are shared than it is my hope that in sharing mine I may help you with yours and vice versa.
Love you all and as always thank you for sharing in my journey,
xoxo
Ashley
